The Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 1978

 

The Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 1978

Hey everyone!! It’s Fire from Fire’s Flaming Hot Takes here with another year-end list. Today we’re looking at the top 10 worst hit songs of 1978!!

1978 is a year that I’d probably describe as the peak of disco in the mainstream. The release of Saturday Night Fever in December 1977 propelled the genre to dominate pop music all year. More than a third of the Hot 100 year-end for 1978 was disco fluff. It seemed to spell a very bright future for the genre and guaranteed a bright future of many more disco hits in the years to come, until Disco Demolition happened in 1979 (and I was definitely very wrong in my attempt at a nuanced take in those lists about the event not being fueled by racism and homophobia, it was absolutely fueled by those hateful viewpoints). The year also showcased adult contemporary that seemed to be focus group-tested specifically for people who hated the dominance of disco and classic rock acts being forced to adapt to one of these styles or take a risk and stay in their comfort zone. This resulted in a year-end list that’s decent enough, even if it’s nowhere close to the best year I’ve ever looked at.

Those trends meant that this worst list is actually pretty decently diverse. There’s a whole spectrum of mediocrity and bad songs on this list. For anyone new to my blog, my rules for the songs that qualify for this list are that they had to appear on the Billboard Hot 100 year-end list for 1978 and if any songs placed on a previous year-end list, they had to place higher on the 1978 year-end or be in the top 20 of the 1978 YE. With all that, let’s get this started with our dishonorable mentions!!

DM #1: Chris Rea - Fool (If You Think It's Over) (YE: #84, PEAK: #12)

I’ll just be blunt; most of the dishonorable mentions are more mediocre than outright bad, but that doesn’t mean there weren’t one or two aspects of these songs that just got under my skin. Starting with “Fool (If You Think It’s Over)”, the song entails the narrator trying to comfort a teenage girl crying after her first(?) heartbreak by saying “you’re a fool if you think your life is over”. I honestly think this is a great sentiment, but the production is what kills it for me. The melody just drifts without any direction, like it’s sleepwalking through the motions. That saxophone solo tries to add a bit of texture, but everything else is pure adult contemporary mush. It’s elevator music, not music meant for offering emotional reassurance. I’m not mad at this; it’s definitely more boring than bad, but I definitely never want to hear it again.

DM #2: Debby Boone - You Light Up My Life (YE: #3, PEAK: #1)

Snore. Debby Boone has a technically great voice, but she lacks an ability to convey emotion. This song that’s supposed to be about how grateful Boone is that her partner lights up her life shouldn’t be this mistakeable with a song about a breakup if you aren’t listening to the lyrics!! The production is also painfully slow; it just chugs on at a snail’s pace. This song is only 3.5 minutes long but it feels like it takes 3.5 years. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

DM #3: Rod Stewart - You're In My Heart (The Final Acclaim) (YE: #37, PEAK: #4)

When I put “Da Ya Think I’m Sexy” as a dishonorable mention on my 1979 worst list, I expressed that Rod Stewart’s raspy vocals didn’t work against the disco production. But you know what? At least “Da Ya Think I’m Sexy” had some energy, even if Stewart sounded like his pants got lit on fire! His raspy vocals are even less effective on this song, which is more sleepy easy-listening gunk and that makes the lovestruck lyrics feel so clunky. It’s plainly obvious that Stewart isn’t staying on whatever time signature there is, especially when he rhymes “immeasurable” with “immense” while trying his hardest to somehow fit “immeasurable” into the line before he has to sing the next line and then in the same stanza rhyming “ageless” with “timeless with “fineness” just feel so clunky. It’s the way that this song feels so overwritten to me. Rod Stewart really overwrote this song to bend over backwards to try conveying sincerity but ironically that overwritten nature makes this song feel oddly insincere. In other words, I’m prepared to give this song the final panning; it’s a mediocre at best slice of easy-listening that sounds like if Lin Manuel-Miranda tried to make a love song.

DM #4: Crystal Gayle - Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue (YE: #71, PEAK: #2)

If I can praise this song for a bit, Crystal Gayle has a beautiful voice and effectively conveys the heartbreak and sadness of seeing her ex move on from her. But man...if only the production was able to do the same. There’s no atmosphere created and Gayle has to work twice as hard to  give this emotional weight by elongating her “ooooooooooo”’s in a way I can only describe as “mock-soulful”. So yeah, this had potential to be a poignant breakup ballad, but ultimately, it just ends up being a swing and a miss.

DM #5: Samantha Sang - Emotion (YE: #14, PEAK: #3)

When I put “Love You Inside Out” by The Bee Gees on my 1979 worst list, I said that for Robin Gibb’s Mickey Mouse falsetto to even remotely work, the production needs to have a groove, and that’s the problem with this. Because this isn’t really Samantha Sang’s song. Most of the vocals are courtesy of uncredited Bee Gees member Barry Gibb and his Mickey Mouse falsetto just doesn’t work at conveying the emotion (pun half-intended) that’s needed for this. It’s a shame because Samantha Sang has a pretty nice voice and if she had more presence on this song, this could’ve been something nice. As it is, the ingredients of a good or maybe even great song are here, but ultimately, the chef just added in a tad too much spice and we get a mediocre meal instead.

DM #6: Toby Beau - My Angel Baby (YE: #53, PEAK: #13)

Am I the only one getting weird vibes from this? Toby Beau is reflecting on a conversation he had with his partner that implies that she thinks they should break up. And Beau spends the rest of the song trying to guilt trip her into coming back. He says he can read between the lines and that he knows leaving is on her mind...buddy, news flash, we all could tell; if I’m able to discern it, it’s not a real revelation that *gasp* she’s leaving you! He even says that something is not right in the first lines of the song. So that makes you think, maybe he’s trying to say he can read between the lines to tell that his girl is breaking his trust, I don’t know, maybe she’s cheating on him? But then he drops in lines like “Loving was easier when you were loving me”, yeah Toby Beau, that’s generally how love works. Whatever, this is a slog and only just saved from the list proper thanks to the admittedly slightly impressive high note at the end of the song.

DM #7: Joe Walsh - Life's Been Good (YE: #87, PEAK: #12)

Finally, we’re at the point where I actively start disliking the songs. The guitar sounds like ass, the percussion feels underweight, and any buildup that this song tries to pull off ends up building up into nothing. I also can’t stand Joe Walsh’s vocals. They sound so obnoxious and smug, making the lyrics feel like unearned bragging and when it does feel earned, the awful vocal delivery undercuts everything. I wrote most of this review thinking this was a brag song but upon research, this is apparently supposed to be a parody of how many rockstars lived such an extravagant lifestyle. But honestly? That doesn’t make this song any better. There’s no sonic difference between a parody song about rockstar lifestyles like this and one made with complete sincerity. They both sound like ass just the same. And the fact that I wasn’t able to tell that this was a parody or joke says it all, right? I’m glad Joe Walsh’s life's been good, but life in 2025 has lowkey been kinda ass so far so I don’t think I can relate, sorry.

Now for the actual top 10!...

10...But speaking of awful parodies....

10. Randy Newman - Short People (YE: #41, PEAK: #2)

Just gonna open up this review by saying that this song has the descriptors “energetic”, “playful”, and “hateful” on RYM. Certainly an interesting combo of descriptors for a song, to say the least. But regardless of any odd combo of descriptors on a site comprised primarily of incels and/or Radiohead stans, I just don’t find “Short People” very funny. It’s aiming to create a satirical caricature of shorter people by saying they...are, I guess, literally the same height as an ant? He says short people don’t have a reason to live, little hands and eyes, little noses, tiny little teeth, tiny little feet, and spread lies. And it’s all set to this very chipper production that I can only describe as “Numb Little Bug” coded. I don’t hear much in the way of irony in Randy Newman’s delivery so the joke falls completely flat for me. Don’t get that twisted though, I don’t find this to be hateful towards short people or anything, it’s just a novelty song that doesn’t really work at all for me. Admittedly though, writing this review actually made me construct the head canon of Drake just covering this song as a diss to Kendrick in the beef last year and singlehandedly winning haha. That said, as is, this song isn’t all that good. And I think this screenshot sums up my thoughts on this song rather accurately:

9...So most of my dishonorable mentions were pretty boring AC ballads. Why not take a look at an AC ballad on the list proper?…

9. David Gates - Goodbye Girl (YE: #47, PEAK: #15)

There really isn’t much to say about this bore. The production is so unbearably cheesy and it’s directly cribbing from the guidebook to making a generic ballad:

• Percussion that picks up in the pre-chorus to create a false sense of climax in the chorus ✅

• Schmaltzy strings ✅

• Lyrics that faint at meaning but are too nondescript to hold any weight ✅

• OPTIONAL: an electric guitar with no muscle whatsoever because it can’t rock too hard! ✅

But David Gates goes the extra mile to make this a slog because I genuinely can’t stand his voice. His voice in the chorus sounds like he’s trying to split the difference between a falsetto and a chest voice and that...just doesn’t exist, I’m sorry. So I’m prepared to say goodbye to this song. Next!

8...But speaking of really bad vocal delivery...

8. The Rolling Stones - Miss You (YE: #16, PEAK: #1)

You know, on a composition level, this isn’t terrible, it’s a pretty slick rock-disco fusion but there’s one huge flaw with this song that propelled it onto this list. And that’s that...vocal delivery. Our frontman’s yelping falsetto is painfully weak and he sounds like his hand is tied down to a hot stove. Yeah, that’s about it. I’m not gonna miss this song at all after I finish this list.

7...But back to boring AC ballads...

7. Michael Johnson - Bluer Than Blue (YE: #81, PEAK: #10)

The sentiment here isn’t awful. Basically the narrator is reeling from a breakup, acknowledging that now that he’s single he is able to go out and have fun on his own but nothing he does can erase the pain of the breakup. But the way the chorus is written just really doesn’t work for me with how amateurish at best it is while also being masked as something beautiful with the cheesy production. He’s bluer than...blue and sadder than...sad? You really couldn’t think of any good metaphors? Like, I’m bluer than the ocean? Sadder than a wilting flower? They are generic metaphors, sure, but they’d work a hell of a lot better than this really cloying repetition. It doesn’t help that outside of that the production is more cookie cutter cheesy and boring AC radio fodder that I think everyone had enough of as soon as we hit the 21st century. This song is sleepier than sleepy.

6...And let's keep the AC core coming!...

6. Meat Loaf - Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad (YE: #30, PEAK: #11)

There’s amateur lyrics on boring production with “Bluer Than Blue”, there’s weak vocals on boring production on “Goodbye Girl”, and then there’s Meat Leaf’s straining on “Two Out Of Three Ain’t Bad”, and this one is easily the worst out of all three on vocal delivery alone. He says in the second verse that he’s too hoarse to shout his words, but damn if he isn’t gonna try. His strained vocals really make this a chore to get through. There isn’t even much in the way of passion in his singing, so all we get are strained vocals. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but at least Lewis Capaldi can convey that he’s in pain when he scream-sings!! It doesn’t help when you look at the lyrics, which are about how Meat Loaf and his girl should want, need, and love each other for a fulfilling relationship to blossom. Then he says that they do want and need each other, but they can’t love each other. Meat Loaf says that having two out of three of these isn’t bad, which contradicts what he views as what constitutes a good relationship. So how I interpret this is that Meat Loaf and his girlfriend are still with each other for the sex. And I’m not against this on principle - I still like Maroon 5’s “One More Night” - but when nobody's having any fun here, that makes the entire experience miserable for everyone involved!! This AC ballad production would make you believe that this is a song about professing love or maybe even a breakup, it’s so sexless that it’s probably more effective than abortion. So let me close this review by putting it like this: two out of three is 66%, which is a D grade, which is very much bad. Just like this song, funnily enough.

5...How about more boring ballads?...

5. The Commodores - Three Times A Lady (YE: #10, PEAK: #1)

“Two Out Of Three Ain’t Bad” might have worse vocal delivery than this, but honestly the crushing 6.5 minute length of this slog makes me dread listening to this even more than the Meat Loaf song. It’s only 1 minute longer than the previous song and yet it seems to only exponentially get more sluggish with every passing second!! I should probably start with how the phrase “three times a lady” just sounds really clunky. What do you mean by that, Lionel Richie? Is this a woman who has bipolar disorder? Is she a three-headed woman? Does she have three different women inside of her? What is your profession of love here supposed to mean? I can’t even call this a banal platitude because that’d be assuming that this is commonly used enough to be considered a platitude! No, this is just meaningless fluff that only was a hit because Lionel Richie is singing this at a snail’s pace and adding a sincere tone to try adding meaning. Lionel Richie could literally be singing “Not Like Us” by Kendrick Lamar against this same production and everyone would eat it up because oh how romantic, he’s in love with his girl, bleh. This shit is once. Twice. Three times a crappy song.

4...But say what you will about Lionel Richie in the previous song, at least he had a distinct enough voice!!..

4. Paul Davis - I Go Crazy (YE: #12, PEAK: #7)

“I Go Crazy” does avoid the crushingly dismal length of the other AC ballads we’ve talked about so far, but Paul Davis just doesn’t showcase any sort of unique or interesting personality. Lyrically, this is about how Paul Davis thought he could still be friends with his ex but every time he looks at her, the feelings rekindle. But Davis contradicts himself because in the first verse he addresses his ex saying that he’s finally learned how to smile and laugh without her, then saying that he still goes crazy when he looks in her eyes. And if this was intended to be subversive, like in a way where he thought he was over her but gets proven wrong, nothing is properly set up in the lyrics to imply that. It also doesn’t help that the production is lousy and generic dime-a-dozen AC ballad schlock that doesn’t do anything to differentiate itself from any other ballad during this year. I do go crazy. Crazy from this song because the utter lack of any stimulation makes this the musical equivalent of watching paint dry. Screw this.

3...Let’s take a break from the ballads for a grating rock banger now, why don’t we?...

3. Foreigner - Hot Blooded (YE: #36, PEAK: #3)

Let’s just start with the obvious; the vocals here sound atrocious, our frontman is pushing himself so far that it gets really grating. I already don’t generally tend to like glam rock as is but the frontman here sounds like Bon Jovi at their most obnoxious. He can’t sell a feeling of heating up in the face of attraction. And the production is pretty shitty too. As I just mentioned, I generally don’t like glam rock very much as is but here the guitars sound particularly weak, the solos especially are really weak. Terrible track, maybe you should get out into the sun because nothing about this is remotely hot blooded, or, you know, the actual correct term, warm blooded, this is cold blooded and lousy.

2...Now I think it’s about time we look at the absolute worst ballad of 1978...

2. Dan Hill - Sometimes When We Touch (YE: #33, PEAK: #3)

This is on the surface a generic and cheesy love ballad, what’s it doing all the way up at #2 on your worst list instead of being lumped somewhere in the middle of the list with all the other AC ballads, Fire? Well, there are a few lyrics here that put this song into another tier of its own in awfulness. The song starts out with the girl asking the narrator if he loves her and he chokes on his reply. Awww, that sounds sweet, he loves his girl so much that he’s tearing up when telling her how much he loves her. Well, let’s look at the next lyric, why don’t we?

“I'd rather hurt you honestly than mislead you with a lie”

Oh, so maybe they’re on the verge of a breakup? Well, let’s see what lyric he drops in the bridge...

“At times I'd like to break you

And drive you to your knees”

And that’s the fucking nail in the coffin for me. What this song is about is a man who’s clearly abusive to his girl (maybe physically, maybe verbally) but presumably only stays with her because he loves the sex. And the sincere delivery that Dan Hill puts on and his admittedly impressive ending high note disguises this as a love song that probably is being used to trap this girl from breaking up with him. No matter what the relationship is for, for the sex, for the connection, whatever, NOTHING excuses abuse. The ONLY reason this song didn't top this list was the aforementioned high note which I can admit is rather impressive. But quite frankly, Dan Hill got off lucky. So what’s worse?

1...This was originally only #9 on this list because I thought it was just irritating and nothing more. But then I actually listened to the lyrics and it all got SO much worse...

1. Lynyrd Skynyrd - What's Your Name (YE: #70, PEAK: #13)

There’s a fair bit more going on in this song than any of the previous songs; there’s an upbeat Southern Rock groove here that goes pretty hard, at least until our frontman sings with his oversold twang that gets grating in record time, but no, the reason this song is #1 here is the lyrics. This is literally a song where the narrator approaches a little girl and lures her to his hotel room to make her drink. This is obviously extremely objectionable but what really makes this despicable is specifically the word “little”. You are made to believe that he’s literally luring a minor to his hotel room to get her drunk so he can have sex with her. Another clue that this is about a little girl is the lyric where the police say they can’t drink at the bar. Even if this were about a girl who’s of age, this sentiment is absolutely vile. If you can’t tell by now, “What’s Your Name” by Lynyrd Skynyrd is EASILY the worst hit song of 1978 and it honestly isn’t even close.

And that’s the worst list done!! Next article should be the best list for this year. Stay tuned for that and until then, if you have predictions for that list or your own lists of the worst hit songs of 1978, please comment them below!! I’m looking forward to reading them. And here’s the Spotify playlist for this list. And until the next list, remember to keep it Fire!