The Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2024

 

The Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2024

Hey everyone!! It’s Fire from Fire’s Flaming Hot Takes, and it’s that time of year again!! Today, we’re counting down the top 10 worst hit songs of 2024!!

I can imagine a whole lot of you thinking right about now “Oh...I can’t wait for Fire to trauma dump his non-problems on us, oh joy.” I don’t want this article to come off as though this year was rough for me in any remote way, because that’s not even close to true. In fact, this was quite honestly one of the happiest years of my life so far and a very important year for me too, one where even the problems I did wind up facing, they felt much easier to handle. I’ll explain a little more about this in my best list, but yeah, this was a great year for me...and for the Hot 100 for that matter actually.

It was a year that seemed to right a lot of the wrongs we made with 2023’s pop music. I’m gonna use Spectrum Pulse’s 2023 worst list intro as a bit of a template for this but...annoyed that rap had one of its worst down years in recent memory in 2023? Well watch it bounce back into the spotlight and dominate a significant portion of the cultural discourse with it in the throes of a historic beef in 2024. Angry that pop recycled too many old hits last year? Well, when pop recycled hits this year, the choices felt inspired and/or unique!! Underwhelmed by the somewhat haphazard results of R&B last year? Watch it have pretty consistently great quality in 2024!! You were mad at the regional Mexican sound effectively wiping reggaeton from the mainstream...well reggaeton actually had a bit of a comeback this year while the regional Mexican sound largely lost ground...Okay, well, it’s debatable whether this is a good thing or not. And after a year with country music seeing unparalleled success and some of the worst country songs and discourse of recent memory, country music, while still being huge this year, had pretty great and excellent songs see the success this time around!! And female pop in particular had a great year. The one thing I will say that 2024 didn’t make right from 2023 is fixing the wonky as shit cutoff date. Billboard...news flash: NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR DYING AWARDS SHOW AND THE YEAR DOESN’T END IN OCTOBER YOU DUMBASSES. Full disclosure, there’s a chance I might try to revise my criteria to make it more representative of the year in 2025...when it comes to my decade-end lists (idk if I’m still gonna do this in 6 years lol) with how often I’ve been changing my criteria...look I’ll cross that bridge when I get there. Who even knows what I’ll be dealing with at that point.

All that made for a year that, while it may have come to a bit of a stagnating halt towards the end, was one of the best years for pop music of my lifetime quite frankly. And it was a year where I honestly can’t in good faith say my #1 pick here is nearly as bad as my #1 pick in previous years. But I also can’t say it was quite good enough to stop me from filling out a complete worst list.

So now for my criteria for what’s eligible for this list. Any song on the Billboard Hot 100 year-end for 2024 is eligible, with the Christmas songs being swapped out for the songs that finished just below the year-end. So in the case of this year, there were 5 Christmas songs on the year-end, meaning the songs that finished #101-105 according to TOTC are also eligible. If the song finished on a previous Hot 100 year-end list, it has to place higher on the 2024 YE to qualify, unless the repeat is in the top 20, where it’s eligible regardless of its position relative to last year. So Let’s get started by looking at my worst list from 2023 and seeing what would change:

DMS:

Meghan Trainor - Made You Look

Glorilla & Cardi B - Tomorrow 2

Drake - Search & Rescue

Parker McCollum - Handle On You

Kane Brown - Bury Me In Georgia

Jelly Roll - Need A Favor

Metro Boomin & Future f/Chris Brown - Superhero (Heroes & Villains)

Morgan Wallen - Thinkin’ Bout Me Morgan Wallen - Last Night

Sam Smith & Kim Petras - Unholy

10. Meghan Trainor - Made You Look Peso Pluma & Natanael Cano - PRC

9. Chris Brown - Under The Influence Yng Lvcas & Peso Pluma - La Bebe

8. Glorilla & Cardi B - Tomorrow 2 Young Nudy f/21 Savage - Peaches & Eggplants

7. Peso Pluma & Natanael Cano - PRC Chris Brown - Under The Influence

6. Young Nudy f/21 Savage - Peaches & Eggplants David Kushner - Daylight

5. Oliver Anthony Music - Rich Men North Of Richmond Morgan Wallen - You Proof

4. David Kushner - Daylight Oliver Anthony Music - Rich Men North Of Richmond

3. Morgan Wallen - You Proof Morgan Wallen - Thinkin’ Bout Me

2. Morgan Wallen - Ain’t That Some

1. Jason Aldean - Try That In A Small Town

There’s a few things I wanna address here. First off, I’ll admit that I grew to like “Last Night” for a good bit when I realized it was just Maroon 5’s “Beautiful Mistakes” set to a country music palette. Then I relistened to “Beautiful Mistakes” for my 2021 list reduxes and realized that the song blew ass and I turned hard on “Last Night” as a result. And I’ve honestly flip-flopped on my opinion on “Rich Men North Of Richmond” all year but after thinking long and hard about it, I’ve come to the conclusion that I was definitely too kind to it last year when on a purely aesthetic level it’s amateurish to a massive fault and thus, is terrible. However, based on the fact that Oliver Anthony has stated in an interview that he believes diversity is America’s greatest strength and we should use it to come together despite the fact that it probably would’ve been better for his career to just pander more to his right-wing audience, I don’t believe Oliver Anthony is intentionally bigoted, but just extremely dumb. I still might be reading the guy completely wrong (idk him personally), but that’s just my impression of him (I’m also incredibly dense politically so I won’t claim that my reading is right either). I couldn’t be bothered to listen to his entire debut album, but I did listen to one of the songs from it - “Rich Man’s Gold” touched a bit on some similar themes of working class struggles that his big hit did, just without the us vs. them thing. And yeah...when I actually paid very close attention to the lyrics of “Thinkin’ Bout Me”, I noticed some of the first lines, turning it from a plain bad song to one of the douchiest songs in Morgan Wallen’s catalog. 

I guess I’ll also use this space here to say I’m not particularly proud of when I reviewed “Try That In A Small Town” and somehow completely missed the actual reason why it’s racist last year. So let me do a quick drive-by thrashing for it here: The lyrics of the song are explicitly saying that if you do something in Aldean’s small town that he and his gang of conservatives don’t like, they’re gonna form a mob and chase you down the road and lynch you. As recently as 25 years ago, the “something” that these conservatives didn’t like was minorities existing. Then you remember all the racist controversies surrounding Jason Aldean, like when he did blackface to dress up as Lil Wayne for Halloween and all of a sudden I don’t buy one bit that the decision to film in front of a courthouse where there was a lynching in 1927 and a race riot in 1946 interlaced with several pieces of footage of the BLM protests was accidental!! But yeah, a vile song then and still a vile song now. Go fuck yourself Jason Aldean, you piece of waste, I can’t think of a single artist less deserving of a career in country music than you.

Now let’s finally get started on this list with our dishonorable mentions!

DM #1: 4Batz f/Drake - act ii: date @ 8 (YE: #80, PEAK: #7)
Drake had the worst 2024 of any artist, possibly of any person, period. He went from being, as J Cole proclaimed him to be, one of the “big three of hip hop” to being detested by literally everyone overnight while being called a pedophile in one of the biggest songs of the year. But really, “act ii: date @ 8” isn’t anything even remotely noteworthy, except for the fact that this 4Batz guy literally sounds like a bored child spacing out during the lesson. 4Batz doesn’t have any convincing sense of swagger or game in his delivery and Drake might sound better than 4Batz, but even then he sounds like he’s lost all passion for music, and that makes his references feel all the more embarrassing and odd - “’Fore I end up in jeopardy just like the game show” or “I'm a stand-up guy like Dave Chappelle” - this isn’t clever wordplay, it’s just painfully forced references that barely even try to make sense!! And that’s all before I even get to the production, which is just a wisp of a nothing of a sound that only gets slightly more interesting when Drake comes in. But even then,  the trap percussion and bass only make this feel more brooding. But really, nobody is gonna remember this song after this year, and 4Batz chose the worst time for a Drake cosign and he certainly doesn’t have much in the way of a personality or distinct style to carve out a decent career. Mid nothing of a song. I think we should just not show up to this date at 8.

DM #2: Nicki Minaj f/Lil Uzi Vert - Everybody (YE: #71, PEAK: #24)
I did say Drake had the worst 2024 out of any artist, but if there’s any close second for that, it’d be Nicki Minaj. We’ll get to the exact reason why Nicki had a pretty bad 2024 in a bit, but in the meantime, what’s wrong with “Everybody”? Look, I’ll admit that at the beginning of the year it probably would’ve actually contended for my best list. And it would’ve probably been on my best list, until I actually heard Junior Senior’s “Move Your Feet” - the song this liberally samples - and realized that while the Jersey Club beat might go pretty hard and Nicki and Uzi might flow pretty decently, them trying to shoehorn the funktronica original “Move Your Feet” into this Jersey Club banger made the sample sound incredibly irritating and failing to really hype anyone up. And then Uzi interpolates their much better hit from last year “Just Wanna Rock” and I’m instantly reminded that I could listen to other Uzi Jersey Club bangers over this irritating mess. Next!

DM #3: Taylor Swift - Down Bad (YE: #99, PEAK: #2)
Remember when I published my paper speculating Taylor Swift’s potential downfall from her overexposure? The Tortured Poets Department is why I chose to do my paper on that. It’s by far her worst album to date. The album somehow scored three hits this year, this is easily the worst one. “I Can Do It With A Broken Heart”, as clunky as it is lyrically, might be the best single from the album because it’s the only song on it that has a pulse. And it’s only out of sheer dumb luck that “Fortnight” isn’t a dishonorable mention here too (it was literally the final cut from the dishonorable mentions btw). When I hear “Down Bad”, I just hear a nothing of a fart of a song that is diaristic to a fault with a chorus that genuinely sounds like if any edge on Reputation got sanded off. It’s not the worst song on the album - “Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me?” is probably up there as one of the worst songs in her entire catalog - but this really puts the “bad” in “down bad”.

DM #4: Jelly Roll & Lainey Wilson - Save Me (YE: #65, PEAK: #19)
I didn’t completely hate this song the first time I heard it. But what actively turned me against this was when I heard it on the radio for the first time. I’ll be straight up: Jelly Roll sounds like a dying dog just seconds away from being put down. But back to me hearing this on the radio for the first time...I was in the car with my best friends and we were heading to Dunkin Donuts. My friend’s dad switches on a pop station and this starts playing and my other friend’s little brother immediately screams “EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS THIS TRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????”. Little bro is only 12 and he’s already serving taste. Lainey Wilson might elevate this enough to save this from the list proper, but this reminds me of CCM in the worst way possible. It’s graceful, but without any beauty. No one should save this; just let it die.

DM #5: Teddy Swims - Lose Control (YE: #1, PEAK: #1)
Song of the year, everyone!! Which...if the radio was too scared to play any songs from the Drake v Kendrick Lamar beef, why not default to this dated, stiff, and oversold pop soul dreck from a noname whose most notable song prior to this was some random feature on a Meghan Trainor Hot AC song from 2022 (quite frankly it’s better than it has any right to be)? But seriously, if you compare the cultural event that was “Not Like Us” by Kendrick Lamar or even the anthemic radio behemoth that is “A Bar Song (Tipsy)” by Shaboozey to the total nonevent that is “Lose Control”, it proves how functionally meaningless the Billboard Hot 100 is these days. The stiff and blocky pop soul production doesn’t do anything to flatter Teddy Swims, who has rather impressive pipes, but his voice really doesn’t work on a song like this. It’s much better suited for a song that has a groove. Screw this, the only reason this was the #1 song of the year on the Hot 100 was because the radio just defaulted to the safest possible filler to fill up the airwaves. We could’ve had “The Door” as the Teddy Swims hit, but instead we got this. America, I hope you’re happy with yourselves, because you REALLY shouldn’t be. Do better next year.

DM #6: Drake f/Yeat - IDGAF (YE: #83, PEAK: #2)

I thought this was one of the worst songs on For All The Dogs when it dropped and that opinion hasn’t changed. The piano intro might sound really pretty with all the spacey synths and the Azimuth sample but that gets interrupted by the most jarring whiplash-inducing transition to Yeat doing the laziest possible imitation of Young Thug. And you know what, I do understand Yeat’s appeal a bit better now. “Breathe” is a really good, maybe even great, song. But with that song, there was a sense of tempo and energy which might be what makes the good rage music work. At least on “FE!N” by Travis Scott and Playboi Carti, a pretty mediocre song that only barely missed this list, there was a sense of energy and hype to the song, not this puree’d goop. There’s no groove or atmosphere to this, it just sounds really aggressively watered down, like rage music from Temu. The only interesting thing about this song is the random overemphasis on the “Money for fun!” line. These guys might claim that they don’t give a fuck, but after this summer of Kendrick Lamar absolutely destroying Drake’s ass, maybe we should ask that question again. Do you really not give a fuck, Mr. Graham? Because if the universe is good, Kendrick would’ve destroyed your career so bad that this is the last year you have a hit.

DM #7: Tucker Wetmore - Wind Up Missin’ You (YE: #95, PEAK: #43)

Okay, first off, “Wetmore” is such a tragic last name to have. But regardless of his last name and despite this not being his worst song (we’ll get to that shortly), “Wind Up Missin’ You” is awful. I’ll be straight up again: Tucker Wetmore has one of the worst voices I ever heard. Think Morgan Wallen by way of Uncle Kracker and the production being so generic only amplifies Wetmore’s lack of vocal talent. I doubt I’m gonna wind up missin’ Tucker Wetmore or this song after this year. And this segways nicely into...

...now for the ineligible dishonorable mentions, and warning, there’s a LOT here. And speaking of Tucker Wetmore...

IDM #1: Tucker Wetmore - Wine Into Whiskey (YE: N/A, PEAK: #68)

Tucker Wetmore sounds horrendous here. He sounds like he’s singing with his nose pinched and someone is twisting a wrench on his testicles - which is to say a cross between Jessie Murph and Morgan Wallen. Would’ve for sure topped this list if it was eligible. But speaking of Jessie Murph...

IDM #2: Jessie Murph & Teddy Swims - Dirty (YE: N/A, PEAK: #79)

I’ve always hated Jessie Murph’s voice, but holy shit, I don’t think she’s ever sounded worse than she sounds here. Picture Elle King trying to sing like Lewis Capaldi, but even then I think that might be understating how truly atrocious her voice is here. And holy SHIT, Jessie’s pathetic attempt at belting here sounds atrocious and I immediately want to jump off a building at the sound of it. But then the lyrics...Jessie Murph is pissed off at Teddy Swims for cheating on her, or at least she suspects that he is, but then she checks his phone, and finds out that Teddy Swims is in fact not cheating on her. But then Jessie still says “I GOT NO MERCYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! COME CRAWL BACK TO ME ON BROKEN GLASS!!!!!!!!!”. It’s not “Somebody That I Used To Know” by Gotye where Jessie is firing back at Teddy’s whining, it’s just painting Jessie Murph as a toxic and insecure piece of shit. Also, Teddy Swims sounds like a husk of himself on this. None of the pipes he showcased on “Lose Control” are here. Yeah, one of the worst songs I’ve EVER heard and would’ve undoubtedly topped this list if it was eligible. Still not the worst song I heard this year, though. Wanna know what that is?

IDM #3: ¥$: Kanye West & Ty Dolla $ign f/Bump J & Lil Durk - Vultures (YE: N/A, PEAK: #34)

This has the single worst lyric I’ve heard all year and the lyric that completely tainted my opinion of Kanye, not only as a person, but as an artist. I won’t paste the lyric here. Look the song’s lyrics up and see if you can identify the lyric I’m referring to. If you have an answer, comment your guesses down below. Anyway, I have other plans to rip into Kanye and Ty Dolla $ign in a future article that quite frankly has some of the most scathing words I’ve ever given a piece of music 👀👀👀. Stay tuned for that!

IDM #4: Nicki Minaj - Big Foot (YE: N/A, PEAK: #23)

This is the most embarrassingly atrocious song I’ve heard all year. Nicki’s “flow” is more just her putting her coke-fueled IG live rants to a dizzying melody-less beat. And let’s not forget that disastrous ASMR outro. At least “Stupid Hoe” wasn’t taking itself seriously. On “Big Foot”, Nicki clearly thinks she’s gonna END Megan Thee Stallion’s career. You know what, I’ll just quote my top 50 worst of all time article for the rest of this review: “Nicki really took such offense to ONE (1) line in ‘HISS’ by Megan Thee Stallion (an incredible song btw, might be my favorite Megan song actually) that she wrote this mess of a song as a diss track to her. And yeah this is really atrocious. That piano line in the beat is super dizzying and sounds like it was recycled from ‘TROLLZ’ by 6ix9ine and Nicki’s delivery really is trying hard to make her come off as confident but every single ‘quirky’ inflection in her delivery adds another crack in the illusion. And let’s not forget to mention the lyrics which alternate between Nicki exposing how horrible of a person she is by mocking Megan for mourning her dead mother and her being the world’s biggest hypocrite where she calls out Megan for ‘humping a minor’ (which I’m pretty sure never actually happened but that’s besides the point and you’ll see why in the next sentence). You’re really one to talk Nicki, considering you are married to a convicted sex offender, gave a 13-year old boy a lapdance, collaborated multiple times with 6ix9ine, and you DEFENDED one of your brothers who was arrested for CHILD MOLESTATION (there’s more I could put here but quite frankly I couldn’t bother to list everything out. Pretty sure y’all get my point though)! More than anything, this song is very revealing of an insecure woman who has had a spectacular fall from grace from being one of the most talented and iconic female rappers alive to resorting to making garbage like this. I can’t wait for Nicki’s 15th minute to be up, because this song exposes how her time in the spotlight has long passed its expiration date.” Yeah, I think that sums everything up. But you know what? Nicki did get one part of this song right, we did not want the second installment of this song. Also Nicki, is Megan Big Foot or Fragment Foot? I’ve seriously been wondering about this for months now. And I think the more revealing part of this song is the fact that it got outpeaked by...

IDM #5: Tom MacDonald & Ben Shapiro - Facts (YE: N/A, PEAK: #16)

Tom MacDonald got a top 20 hit in 2024, out-peaking Nicki Minaj’s embarrassing atrocity. I’m not angry at this song, really. More just amused at its existence. The song is running on the whole sentiment of “facts don’t care about your feelings!1!!!!!!!1111111” and then MacDonald immediately contradicts his own sentiment not even one minute in when he says that there are only two genders and that he’s the biggest independent rapper in the world (LOL). And Ben Shapiro is here for some reason, I guess because Tom MacDonald was butthurt about not hitting the Hot 100 since 2021. Shapiro somehow manages to rap slower than he talks. I would put Tom MacDonald’s other song this year, “You Missed”, here too, but honestly, does anyone actually care about Tom MacDonald, either positively OR negatively?

IDM #6: Benson Boone - Cry (YE: N/A, PEAK: #60)

I almost wanna give this song credit because this was the moment where I realized I was a happier person. What do I mean? Well, the sheer inexplicable rage I felt whenever I heard “Cry”, from the snippets of the song before its official release, was analogous to the inexplicable rage I had whenever I heard “BANG!” by AJR in 2021. Both songs made me realize that I was channeling my negative emotions into passionately hating the songs. Okay, but what made me hate this song in the first place? Well let’s start with the delivery. Benson, you’re not pronouncing “cry” correctly. You’re not Australian and I sure hope you aren’t trying to imitate an Australian accent. It’s not “croy”. It’s “crai”. Repeat after me Benson, “crai”...”crai”...okay nope, he doesn’t want to pronounce “cry” correctly. He doesn’t deserve to have his name pronounced correctly if he can’t say such a simple word like “cry” correctly. So you know what? The rest of this list, I’m gonna call him Benjamin Boner. So anyway, back to the inexplicable rage I felt whenever I heard “Cry”- nope I mean “Croy”...well, I was told by a delusional and tasteless Benjamin Boner stan in Pulse’s Discord server that this was both a breakup song and a diss track to his record label. So I listened to the lyrics closely and then the inexplicable rage I felt became completely explicable!! This is a song where Benjamin Boner breaks up with a girl and tells her to just cry about it...or I guess...croy about it. And on the surface, it has the potential to work with the right singer. Benjamin Boner does sound really pissed here but he simply can’t sell anger well. He sounds like a spoiled toddler, his delivery is just so pissy and petulant. But...he at first also sets this song up like the girl is a real piece of shit - she’s more narcissistic than anyone in Hollywood, she blames all her stupid problems on her mental state. But then Benjamin Boner throws all his justification out the window in the second verse:

“And maybe you're the honest type

And it's been me the whole damn time

I should really try to calm my mind and see things from your side

Or, maybe you can

Cry, cry”

I’ll say it again, that set of lyrics is some of the douchiest lyrics I’ve heard all year. He might as well be saying “Okay wait...maybe I’m overreacting here. Let me put myself in your shoes for a bit” *1 second later* “nope fuck you, I was right. Go jump into an active volcano you bitch you deserve to croy until you die, you deserve eternal pain and suffering.” It feels like he was attempting a moment of self-awareness, but he fails so catastrophically. In this song, he already painted a picture of a really terrible ex!! He doesn’t need to add any justification or self-awareness!! That lyric honestly makes me want this girl to keep ruining Benjamin Boner’s life. This is EASILY Benjamin Boner’s worst song, and without a shred of doubt would’ve topped this list if it was eligible. We’ll get back to Benjamin Boner in due time, but yeah, this is an atrocity. Benjamin Boner, how about YOU go ahead and ruin your fans’ ears by making your terrible music. Oh what, did I make you croy? Croy? Go ahead and ruin your own fucking life you absolute douchebag.

Well, that was a lot, how about the list proper now?

10...So I did say in the intro that when pop this year sampled older hits, the sampling felt inspired and/or unique. But I guess the same didn’t really apply to the rap this year...

10. Nicki Minaj - FTCU (YE: #88, PEAK: #15)

I always considered this the worst song on Pink Friday 2 and in a year where we got so much amazing rap, this just sounds even worse all these months later. At least “Everybody” had some energy to it. “FTCU” is so lazy, there is no groove and Nicki isn’t nearly as fun in her delivery as she thinks she is. She honestly sounds really bored here and that makes her rhyming tippies with titties with dickie with sippie feel even more painfully forced than they would be in another rapper’s hands. But no, the real problem here is the production. It’s heavily reliant on a sample of “Fuck The Club Up” by Waka Flocka Flame and nothing clever or inspired is done with the sample at all and it gets annoying in record time. Plus there’s that weird synth that rings like a siren which is grating as hell. There’s no energy or groove to this, just a loud bass that tries to make this feel like a trap banger but only makes it feel more limp. I highly doubt this fucks any clubs up other than the club losing money by playing this and driving all the customers away and being forced to close down.

9…So last year I put “Tomorrow 2” by Glorilla on my worst list, criticizing Glorilla for putting too much intensity into all her bars and always sounding like she was about to fall off the beat. That said, she actually improved considerably this year. “Yeah, Glo!” is legitimately great and “Wanna Be” probably could’ve worked for me if it weren’t for the grating production. But you know what, even if Glorilla didn’t improve this year, I must acknowledge that it can ALWAYS be worse...

9. Sexyy Red - Get It Sexyy (YE: #55, PEAK: #20)

I’ll be honest, early in the year, I had this in the top 5 on this list. And look, it’s still bad. Sexyy Red’s flow sounds super sloppy and her voice gets quite irritating at points. Sexyy Red did manage to showcase her potential on the pretty great “Rich Baby Daddy” with Drake and SZA, but she really doesn’t work well here. But honestly, the flow being as sloppy as it is here and the irritating voice make this feel more like a pisstake, as if it’s trying to piss me off. In that regard, I can only get so mad at this. I can’t call this even remotely good because I don’t even get ironic enjoyment from this, but honestly there’s way worse problems in 2024 than this song.

8…You know what’s a funny coincidence on the charts? When on the same year-end list, there’s two songs with the same title. Sometimes, both songs are good or even great, like in 2016 with both “Sorry”’s...other times, the quality disparity between both songs is so mismatched it’s bewildering. Thus on the year-end list for 2024, when we have the great “Houdini” by Dua Lipa, we somehow also decided to get this one…

 

8. Eminem - Houdini (YE: #39, PEAK: #2)

Let me get any faint praise I have for this out of the way first: the hook here is actually pretty catchy. But that doesn’t excuse the fact that Eminem’s flow feels jerky or the fact that the production, liberally interpolating “Abracadabra” by the Steve Miller Band, sounds weirdly canned. And the random adlibs of “and for my last trick!” aren’t nearly as sticky or funny as Eminem seems to think they are. This isn’t anywhere the worst song on The Death Of Slim Shady since “Habits” exists, but this still isn’t any good. Marshall, you’re over 50. I think your time in the spotlight is up. You’re not nearly as sticky or funny or even particularly shocking as you were in your prime. Guys, I think it’s time to move on.

7…I have a feeling this next song is gonna be near or at the top of a lot of worst lists this year. And it’s not hard to see why, quite frankly!!...

 

7. ¥$: Kanye West & Ty Dolla $ign f/Rich The Kid & Playboi Carti - Carnival (YE: #38, PEAK: #1)

Again, I already have a solid paragraph or two for Kanye and Ty Dolla $ign with some of the most scathing words I’ve ever given a piece of music that I plan to use in a future article. But “Carnival” isn’t really worth much analysis. And trust me as someone who sat through Vultures 1, this is mid to upper tier on that terrible album. The chanting on the chorus only makes this feel more limp and underweight and somehow Ty Dolla $ign is the only person on this song that doesn’t have a bizarre or humiliating reference!! Rich The Kid says he’s about to pull up in the trenches like Columbine, Kanye compares himself to R Kelly, Bill Cosby, and Puff Daddy before comparing himself to Jesus (one of these things is not like the others), and Playboi Carti sounds like Kermit the Frog with the flu while comparing his swag to a disease. Limp, underweight, and sad excuse of a posse cut that tries to sound like an event, but only succeeds in being generally laughable. In that regard, it’s just like an actual carnival. And everyone here is just a clown in the spectacle. Next!

6...So for a significant portion of this year, this would’ve probably been even higher on this list. The sheer disappointment I felt with this guy was so strong. Which I feel is kinda weird, because the first song of his that I actually liked was “In The Stars” and before that I used to think of him as just another whiny “white guy with acoustic guitar”-type artist. But there’s no getting around this. Benjamin Boner, you can do SO much better than this...

 

6. Benjamin Boner - Beautiful Things (YE: #3, PEAK: #2)

So for the vast majority of 2024, the sheer unlistenableness of “Beautiful Things” was gonna place this even higher on this list. But I’ll be honest, I don’t think I hate this song nearly as much as some do. The first comparison point I saw being made for this was “Lukas Graham at his worst”, and I think you can get close with the way Benjamin Boner’s falsetto sounds super compressed on the chorus, but honestly nothing from Lukas Graham sounds all that similar to this (though I will admit upon hearing that comparison I just went along with it and it was what realized Lukas Graham’s “7 Years” did in fact blow ass). I think the best comparison point here is Harry Styles from Temu. However this is also where I feel I should hate this song way more than I actually do, where if I wasn’t in a position where I could instantly change the station the second it came on the radio, I might hate this even more. The song starts off decently, maybe a bit dull, but pleasant enough if you’re in the right mood. But then the guitars start ramping up, and the chorus is trying to let out catharsis but Benjamin Boner just gives off the impression of someone making their first song without taking any singing lessons. And I can sorta see how one might find catharsis in this song, but Benjamin Boner jumping so wildly out of his vocal comfort zone to convey that catharsis conversely neuters all the bombast for me. Honestly, if we had a far better vocalist here, this might’ve actually rocked pretty hard, maybe get Harry Styles, he would’ve actually made this hit with catharsis. Unfortunately, we’re stuck with the excruciating vocals from Benjamin Boner. He isn’t a convincing rockstar here, his falsetto is excruciatingly compressed as I mentioned earlier. And on that note, the vocal mixing is absolutely fucking terrible. As is, this is just an abbreviated “Happier Than Ever” by Billie Eilish that lacks all of the power that the gut punch of a second half in that song had. But honestly I think the scariest part of this song is that it might be becoming influential. Don’t believe me? Look up “Tease Me” by Nicky Youre and get back to me later. If this song ends up paving the sound of mainstream pop music for the decade...there’s gonna be hell we have to pay. You could’ve pushed “Be Someone” or “Pretty Slowly” as hard as you pushed this, Benjamin Boner. You can take this very unbeautiful thing away. No one’s gonna miss it.

5...But speaking of Benjamin Boner...

 

5. Benjamin Boner - Slow It Down (YE: #41, PEAK: #32)

But you know what, say what you will about “Beautiful Things”, at least it had a tempo. I’ve always found this song to be MUCH worse. “Slow It Down” just plods on and on with the staccato piano keys and Benjamin Boner somehow being less convincing here as a more R&B singer than a rockstar!! He might not be as loud here as he was in “Beautiful Things”, but his falsetto is skin-crawling and to me it sounds even worse. And then there’s that last minute, where Benjamin Boner starts screaming as the guitars start picking up power and there’s no real groove here, making it even more excruciating to me. It feels like he was trying to make his own “Lose Control” by Teddy Swims and winds up making a song even worse than that one was!!

4...You might recognize this song from when I covered this in my non-US hits article for 2023!! And I’ll be honest, I included it because I never imagined that this song would actually be pushed as a single in 2024 and actually become a hit. And, given how huge his album was last year, can you really blame me?...

4. Morgan Wallen f/ERNEST - Cowgirls (YE: #29, PEAK: #12)

This isn’t Morgan Wallen’s worst song or even the worst song from One Thing At A Time given that unfortunately that putrid pile of garbage “Ain’t That Some” exists - I’m not apologizing for that, that’s by far the most worthless song Morgan has ever released - but “Cowgirls” is still terrible. Morgan Wallen and ERNEST have less than zero chemistry with each other and the trap percussion sounds super muddy and makes this sound like a slog. Not to mention, ERNEST’s more restrained vocals are just an absolute whiplash of a transition from Morgan’s more abrasive vocals, this combo makes about as much sense as putting a baby zebra in a cage with a tiger. Yeah, this cowgirl shouldn’t live very long. Put it down.

3...But say what you will about any of the previous artists on this list, I don’t get the impression they are dangers to society with intention to harm people...

 

3. HARDY - Truck Bed (YE: #67, PEAK: #27)

Honestly, there are some aspects of this song that I think work pretty decently - the hook melody is actually pretty catchy, even good!! But no, the reason this song is this high on this list comes down to the production, the lyrics, and HARDY as a performer. The song is trying to be a hard country rock banger but there’s no edge or intensity to the production, even when it tries to ramp up with the guitar in the final chorus.  HARDY can’t sell anything with any intensity and when he starts screaming for the final chorus I actively recoil every time. Then the lyrics, and while I could nitpick on how the repeating words thing he does in the first verse is grating as hell, the lyrics are genuinely despicable. The song details HARDY getting drunk and getting locked out of the house, falling asleep in his truck, and waking up the next morning hungover and angry. And he presents himself as such a dangerous person to be around, with him saying that he has to be at work at 9 and then saying that “that fucking bird’s about to catch this .45”...so is he gonna show up to work and shoot all the people working there? And you know, if this had a better performer who could sell the malice, maybe this could’ve worked. I’ll say it again, the chorus melody is legitimately good. But HARDY just can’t sell anything here with intensity, even when he starts screaming in the final chorus. Unlistenable noise. At the very start of this year I was convinced without a doubt that this would be my worst hit song of 2024. So what two songs are worse?

2...You ever feel like you’re just punching down sometimes?...

 

2. Jessie Murph & Jelly Roll - Wild Ones (YE: #36, PEAK: #35)

This is the 3rd entry on this list where I’m talking about Jessie Murph in some way. And I feel bad, Murph is only a few months older than me. But in the end, “Wild Ones” is truly a worthless song. The weedy acoustic guitar fails at creating any sort of atmosphere and Jessie Murph sounds like...I can only describe it as a 3 year-old Donald Duck inhaled a helium tank and then got hit in the head so hard it gave him a concussion that gave him a twang and then got kicked in the balls. But even if Jessie Murph was a good singer - and she does have some talent, I actually really like her hit with Koe Wetzel this year - this song on a conceptual level just completely fails. Why is Jessie duetting with JELLY ROLL? A man nearly double her age? It should go without saying they have negative chemistry with each other and that’s not a good thing when the song is about a relationship and how the two partners here have a thing for the “wild ones”. Plus, who told Jelly Roll to rap here? It’s trying to be “Bad Things” by MGK and Camila Cabello. But say what you will about that song, the reason I still love the song to this day is I’ve always felt the serene production gave the song the atmosphere where MGK and Camila were in a toxic teenage fling that they were convinced was much deeper than it actually was but the song itself seemed to know it wasn’t really that meaningful beyond what it was, a fling. “Wild Ones” doesn’t feel like it has any of that pretentious nuance, it’s just soulless and thoroughly worthless. In other words, I think I finally understand why everyone hated “Bad Things” in 2017. If Jessie’s got a thing for the wild ones, then she must hate this song too because this isn’t more than a tame one, if anything. Truly the most worthless and least good song I’ve heard all year. So what’s worse?

1...In his build up for his #1 worst hit song of 2022, Todd In The Shadows described not feeling angry or annoyed or offended by the song, but just detached from the song, like an umpire when someone makes a wild pitch. From this point forward, if I feel this way towards my #1 worst pick, I’ll refer to this as the umpire effect. I’m not angry or offended by this, it’s just...the worst hit song of the year. No other emotions stemming from this...

1. Floyymenor & Cris Mj - Gata Only (YE: #52, PEAK: #27)

When I first heard this song, I was at a Thai restaurant. They were playing like New Music Friday there and my first impression of “Gata Only” was “okay...this is just another boring reggaeton song. It’s far from the worst reggaeton song I’ve heard, but it’s not very interesting”. Then someone in Pulse’s Discord server told me to translate the lyrics...and holy shit, these might be the worst lyrics I’ve read in a reggaeton song since 2018’s “Te Bote”. “Gata Only” is trying to be kinky and play into a horny roleplay-type vibe, but what girl would find lyrics where the guys are telling her to turn off her phone and that they’re gonna kidnap her remotely sexy? It doesn’t help that Floyymenor and Cris Mj are - oh god, I hate using this term because it has a lot of ugly racial undertones to it when using it describe music...but I can’t think of a better word to describe it - they literally sound like they’re mumbling through this. They sound bored here and like they’re about to fall asleep. None of this is helped by the stock raggaeton percussion which means that this song only sticks out in the worst way possible with this grating synth. But yeah, “Gata Only” by Floyymenor and Chris Mj, the worst hit song of 2024.

The best list should be up soon! And I’m really excited to start working on it!! In the meantime, if you have your own lists of the worst hit songs of 2024 or predictions on what my best list is gonna look like, please comment them down below, I’m eager to read them!! Also if you like my graphic for this article, please let me know haha. Until then, Spotify playlist is linked right here if you wanna listen to all the songs mentioned here (fsr) and remember to keep it Fire!!