Roasting the Top 100 Biggest Songs of 2022

 Roasting the Top 100 Biggest Songs of 2022

In the following special article, I revisit maybe my favorite Hot 100 year-end list of the millennium so far and lightheartedly roast the biggest songs of that year for my 2-year anniversary!

Holy fuck, 2 years already! Time really does fly when you’re having fun, huh.

So, 2022 may have actually overtaken 2017 and even 1966 for my favorite year of music of all time so far. 2022 was an incredibly rough year for me for reasons I’ve already detailed in my best and worst lists for this year, and because of how rough it was, I found myself getting comforted by the hits this year, even the bad ones, to some degree, listening to them over and over just to write my worst list was still more therapeutic for me than what I was dealing with, so really, all these roasts are supposed to be lighthearted, and I wouldn’t take any of these very seriously. It’s just a fun article that I thought would be a nice way to celebrate making these lists for 2 years. For these songs, they all have landed somewhere on Billboard’s Hot 100 year-end list for 2022, and 2021 repeats will be in this article, as opposed to other articles I’ve written, where I disqualified the repeats. So let’s get this party started with...

1. Glass Animals - Heat Waves

A song that may not define the hit music trends of 2022 but certainly defined the chart-watching experience in 2022, where thanks to radio propping it up, it stuck around way longer than the middle of June, and thus despite being the 16th biggest song of 2021, it was the #1 song of 2022, I’m not even lying here, I genuinely considered putting this song as a dishonorable mention on my worst list for 2022 just because it broke “Blinding Lights”’s longevity record, and while I’m not petty enough to do that, it just feels wrong man.

2. Harry Styles - As It Was

The song that actually defined 2022 in music and the song that everyone sticks up for even though it’s probably even more overplayed than “Heat Waves” is, not even lying, it’s projected to be in the top 5 biggest songs of all time on the Hot 100, WHAT!!!???

3. The Kid LAROI & Justin Bieber - STAY

You could copy paste almost everything I said about “Heat Waves” here but instead of being the #1 song of 2022, it was the #3 song of 2022 and instead of #16 in 2021, it was #12 that year

4. Adele - Easy On Me

Adele’s big comeback and it’s her 123456789876543456759595976597594964964959th piano ballad.

5. Ed Sheeran - Shivers

A song I’d probably confuse with “Bad Habits” if it weren’t for the fact that this is slightly worse produced.

6. Jack Harlow - First Class

Jack Harlow runs out of ideas midway through the song and doesn’t write half the chorus just because “O-R-O-U-S” has no clever punchline to build off of it.

7. Latto - Big Energy

Arguably would be the poster child for what people consider as atrocious sampling in 2022 if not for “I’m Good (Blue)”.

8. Justin Bieber - Ghost

Uh...yeah, no, I just don’t have the heart to roast this considering how much personal significance this now has for me.

9. Kodak Black - Super Gremlin

We gave a convicted pedophile his biggest hit in 2022. I hope y’all are happy with yourselves.

10. Elton John & Dua Lipa - Cold Heart (PNAU Remix)

When talking about lazy sampling from 2022, this is never brought up despite the fact that it sounds like the cheapest possible version of itself. I can only assume that this was made in an attempt to appeal to the nostalgia of Gen X but even my dad, who loves Elton John, hates this song.

11. Future f/Drake & Tems - Wait For U

The two biggest stars on this song are outshined by the smaller artist, both on this song and other songs.

12. Lizzo - About Damn Time

The general public didn’t want “Juice” but they ate up, or should I say drank up, diet “Juice”.

13. Ed Sheeran - Bad Habits

A fairly good, if generic, song that my dad hyped up hard, only to toss aside as soon as he heard “Shivers”, like an old Apple product.

14. Lil Nas X - THATS WHAT I WANT

This title is in all caps, artists these days seem to either want to style their song titles like they’re SHOUTING or on the complete flipside, like they’re timid

15. Imagine Dragons & JID - Enemy

“OH THE MISERY, EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE MY ENEMY” may well be the anthem for every high school or even middle school kid with no friends

16. Lil Nas X & Jack Harlow - INDUSTRY BABY

Jack Harlow gains goodwill from this song, only to then toss that goodwill into the trash can when releasing his debut album (I’m still yet to hear it, but given some of the reviews on it, I think I’ll pass), and thus everyone is now stuck thinking the only good Harlow has done for the world is try his hardest to come off like he’s straight in a Lil Nas X song.

17. Gayle - abcdefu

“Abcdefu” may be one of the stupidest lyrics ever contrived but at least it’s kinda so bad it’s good?

18. Doja Cat - Need To Know

This was already one of the most overrated songs of 2021, and I’d be glad if it went poof, like an Alakazam.

19. Morgan Wallen - Wasted On You

This probably had potential but then someone decided to make the trap percussion as muddy as possible and make this sound like the equivalent of a rap song that samples the underwater music in New Super Mario Bros.

20. Bad Bunny & Chencho Corleone - Me Porto Bonito

Bad Bunny had 7 songs on the year-end list and naturally, the most grating one of them all became the biggest of them all.

21. Doja Cat - Woman

My dad likes Doja Cat and even he thinks this is lazy.

22. Bad Bunny - Titi Me Pregunto

I was genuinely stuck on how to roast this so I asked Google AI to do it for me, here’s what it came up with, make of these what you will:

• "The song is so explicit, I'm pretty sure my auntie asked me about it."

• "I'm not sure if I should be singing along to this song, or if I should be covering my ears."

• "The song is so catchy, I can't help but sing along, even though I'm a little bit embarrassed."

• "I'm pretty sure Bad Bunny is trying to tell us something with this song, but I'm not sure what it is."

• "The song is a little bit too much for me, but I can't help but respect Bad Bunny's hustle."

23. Kate Bush - Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)

An over 40-year old song where Kate Bush sings in cursive becomes a hit in 2022 thanks to a scene in an overrated TV show that I only began watching just to hear this song anyway and I couldn’t even reach the episode.

24. Encanto Cast - We Don’t Talk About Bruno

A song that might as well be 2022’s “Let It Go” but unlike that song, if you were to find yourself in the car listening to the radio when this song came on without any movie context, you would be left thinking it was about Bruno Mars. And yet, it was actually really close to my best list for this year.

25. Harry Styles - Late Night Talking

Watered down psychedelia that my pop station ate up so hard they left no crumbs. I seriously  have heard this on the radio more than “As It Was”.

26. Post Malone f/Doja Cat - I Like You (A Happier Song)

And speaking of overplayed pop hits...I feel like most people started off liking this, but the more radio play this got, the less of a happier song this became.

27. Morgan Wallen - You Proof

The fact that this is projected to be a bigger hit in 2023 just utterly depresses me. I’m convinced whoever decides to add the trap percussion to Wallen’s music is trying to sabotage his career.

28. Steve Lacy - Bad Habit

I think Steve Lacy figured the only way he could make this a hit was to steal an Ed Sheeran song title, really, this song is only barely better than that song.

29. Nicky Youre f/Dazy - Sunroof

This guy is such a no-name that several of the YouTube music critics I watch were bigger than him before this song blew up. It probably doesn’t help all that much that this guy’s last name is like how you’d write “You’re” in a texting app that isn’t “ur”.

30. Post Malone & The Weeknd - One Right Now

Pairing the two biggest artists of 2020 together for a 2022 hit is like if Glass Animals and Harry Styles created a hit in 2024.

31. Olivia Rodrigo - good 4 u

A song that ripped off “Misery Business” and that’s gotten worse over time. This guy may look happy and healthy, but I’m more concerned for Olivia here.

32. Em Beihold - Numb Little Bug

People compare this to Sara Bareilles but no one brings up AJR when you think about the song’s lyrics.

33. Drake f/21 Savage - Jimmy Cooks

A song that exposed yours truly as the world’s biggest idiot when I forgot to put it on my worst list for this year. Also, there’s the fact that the one trap song on Drake’s house album was the only one that became a hit I guess, but that’s been brought up so much I don’t even know if it’s worth mentioning.

34. Cody Johnson - Til You Can’t

A song built off of one of the most cliche messages ever and yet it’s still the best country hit of the year.

35. Walker Hayes - Fancy Like

One of the most notoriously atrocious country songs in recent memory and yet there were still 3 songs worse than it on Country Stuff The Album.

36. Luke Combs - The Kind Of Love We Make

The most “this exists” song on the year-end list and yet it was still one of the top 40 biggest hits of 2022.

37. OneRepublic - I Ain’t Worried

A ripoff of “Sucker” by the Jonas Brothers but is still miles better than that song, even with Ryan  Tedder’s atrocious falsetto on this.

38. Beyonce - Break My Soul

Beyonce made an album that my dad absolutely hated so much to the point where he tried hard to make the experience as awful as possible for me, thankfully, upon relistening to Renaissance with fresh ears, I’ve come to the conclusion that it is, in fact, not mid, it’s great.

39. Zach Bryan - Something In The Orange

Zach Bryan gets a breakthrough single to become a legitimate smash, and he hasn’t come even close to being this good with any of his subsequent singles, really makes you realize why he hasn’t had another hit this big yet.

40. The Weeknd & Ariana Grande - Save Your Tears

For as much effortless natural chemistry as Abel and Ari have, Ari really doesn’t do much here that the original didn’t already do.

41. Silk Sonic - Smokin’ Out The Window

Bruno Mars and Anderson .Paak’s collab album is boomer bait.

42. Dua Lipa - Levitating

The top 2 biggest songs of 2021 being in the top 50 biggest of 2022 should probably speak for itself how stagnant the Hot 100 was the first few months of the year.

43. Lil Baby - In A Minute

In 2020 Lil Baby proved he was capable of greatness with “The Bigger Picture” and seemingly has refused to do anything remotely close to that great since then.

44. Bad Bunny - Moscow Mule

You know it’s a bad sign when the Wikipedia page for your song is this short. I would cut this some slack saying that it’s only an album track but no, apparently this was the 2nd single from the album.

45. Doja Cat & The Weeknd - You Right

I blame “Moscow Mule” and “Fancy Like” for preventing this from being #43 on the year-end list two years in a row. Why those two songs in particular? Well, I genuinely don’t remember how “Moscow Mule” goes and “Fancy Like” is definitely the worst song in this top 50 by a pretty wide margin.

46. Cole Swindell - She Had Me At Heads Carolina

Cole Swindell truly didn’t deserve a song that goes this hard. I’ve genuinely grown to love this song and now I have to live with the fact that I love a song by Cole Swindell, one of the most lifeless singers on Nashville Radio prior to this.

47. Doja Cat - Vegas

It’s impressive that Doja notched 7 year-end appearances in 2022 until you realize that only four of them weren’t 2021 repeats and the biggest non-repeat was a Post Malone collab. This was her biggest non-repeat solo hit in 2022.

48. Future f/Gunna & Young Thug - Pushin P

Gunna, stop trying to make P happen, it's not going to happen.

49. Jordan Davis f/Luke Bryan - Buy Dirt

A repackaging of a 2014 Florida-Georgia Line song in 2022.

50. SZA - I Hate U

I have a feeling that this and “I Like You (A Happier Song)” accidentally switched song titles.

51. Dove Cameron - Boyfriend

For all I know this probably doesn’t sound as hideously dated to the mid-2010s as I think but I’m stuck associating Dove Cameron to a really cringey 2015 movie and that fact alone is enough for me to associate this song with 2015.

52. Joji - Glimpse Of Us

One of the few YouTubers who tried to make music to actually passable results, then again, not a high bar given the racist “Bitch Lasagna” or any of the awful “music” SML made exist.

53. Jessica Darrow - Surface Pressure

Two Encanto songs nearly missed my best list for this year. I guess at least unlike “We Don’t Talk About Bruno”, it can be understood outside the context of the film?

54. Bailey Zimmerman - Fall In Love

Hey mom, can I see Morgan Wallen?”

“We have Morgan Wallen at home.”

Morgan Wallen at home:

55. CKay - Love Nwantiti (Ah Ah Ah)

When I inputted the title without the “ah ah ah” bit into Google Translate it literally translated to “love my sister” and then the “ah ah ah” bit changed it to “love my daughter”. Either way, the title sounds kinda icky, but it’s weird that the parentheses bit changed a word not even in said parentheses, right?

56. Nicki Minaj - Super Freaky Girl

When I was at my rehab center one day, one of the therapists was playing “Super Freak” and I, trying to make conversation, said "there's a Nicki Minaj song that samples this" and that therapist then said "lemme play it I wanna hear the sample" and then a fully uncensored version of the song started playing through the speakers and she went "......Ok, that's enough of that". Also EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

57. Muni Long - Hrs And Hrs

I’m glad she could do this for hrs and hrs, but this song feels like it goes on for hrs and hrs.

58. Morgan Wallen - Sand In My Boots

Racist country man gets taken off of Nashville Radio for being racist, and because of another song we’ll get to later on in this list, he gets welcomed back onto Nashville Radio with open arms with mostly shitty music and one of the only good things he contributed to society in 2022 is a ripoff of “Colder Weather” by the Zac Brown Band.

59. Becky G & KAROL-G - MAMIII

The only notable thing about this song is that both artists have a last initial in their stage names that is “G”. I’m shocked this song isn’t just called “MAMIII G”.

60. Drake f/21 Savage & Project Pat - Knife Talk

This was never as good as people said it was, people only even remotely liked it because it’s better than the wasteland that is the album Certified Lover Boy.

61. Walker Hayes - AA

Who exactly asked for the “Fancy Like” songstress to have another hit and one that at that too, was so much worse?

62. Megan Thee Stallion & Dua Lipa - Sweetest Pie

Megan tries to be Doja Cat on a song that probably should’ve been called “Sweetest Ride”.

63. KAROL-G - Provenza

This song is just a blend of “Dakiti” by Bad Bunny and “Passionfruit” by Drake, maybe this should’ve just been called “Passionfruit from Dakiti”.

64. Wizkid f/Justin Bieber & Tems - Essence

A decent enough track thoroughly ruined by Justin fucking Bieber.

65. Mariah Carey - All I Want For Christmas Is You

We’ve reached the point where around Christmas time, Christmas music is big enough to make the top 100 biggest songs of the year every year. I don’t think there’s a single soul on Earth that would argue that this helped define the entirety of 2022.

66. Camila Cabello f/ Ed Sheeran - Bam Bam

Takes out Cardi B from “South Of The Border” and makes it feel more like Taco Bell music as a result.

67. Tyler Hubbard - 5 Foot 9

A genuinely sweet song but I can’t shake the feeling that this is just a rehash of 2018’s “Simple”.

68. Doja Cat - Get Into It (Yuh)

Doja Carti. Nothing else, that’s it.

69. Bad Bunny - Efecto

This song’s Wikipedia article is even shorter than the one for “Moscow Mule”. I guess at least this song has the excuse of not being a single?

70. Bailey Zimmerman - Rock And A Hard Place

“Hey mom, can I see Morgan Wallen?”

“We have Morgan Wallen at home.”

Morgan Wallen at home:[2]

71. Luke Combs - Doin’ This

If Luke Combs wasn’t doin’ this, he’d be doin’ this, that’s like if I wasn’t going for a bike ride, I'd still be going for a bike ride.

72. Adele - Oh My God

As much as I did say that Adele makes 123456789876543456759595976597594964964959 piano ballads per album cycle, admit it, there’s a reason she does so, because this is an annoying ass song.

73. NEIKED, Mae Muller, & Polo G - Better Days

A song criminally timed badly for release, this was released in the fall of 2021, and NOT the summer of 2022 or even 2020, when we were at peak COVID lockdown shit?

74. THE ANXIETY - Meet Me At Our Spot

If it weren’t for “Emo Girl” you could probably credibly make the case that Willow is the best artist of 2022. Also, I remember all the RYM comments for this song hating Tyler Cole for some odd reason.

75. Lauren Spencer-Smith - Fingers Crossed

“Hey mom, can I see Olivia Rodrigo or listen to ‘Jar Of Hearts’?”

“We have both Olivia Rodrigo and ‘Jar Of Hearts’ at home.”

Both Olivia Rodrigo and “Jar Of Hearts” at home:

76. Taylor Swift - All Too Well (Taylor’s Version)

A 10 minute song topping the Hot 100 is great for the novelty, but thanks to how criminally generic the production is, I found myself returning to the 5-minute version either way. Still one of the best songs of all time and Taylor’s magnum opus, but yeah.

77. Bad Bunny & Rauw Alejandro - Party

Party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party Party party Party party Party party Party party party party party party party party party party party party Party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party Party party Party party Party party party party party party party party party party party party.

78. Bad Bunny - Despues de la Playa

I no longer think this sounds like an AJR song. That said, I don’t know about you, but after the beach, I feel really tired and wanna go home and sleep.

79. Chris Stapleton - You Should Probably Leave

If I should probably leave, then fine, I’ll leave! Fuck you too Chris.

80. Brenda Lee - Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree

We’ve reached the point where around Christmas time, Christmas music is big enough to make the top 100 biggest songs of the year every year. I don’t think there’s a single soul on Earth that would argue that this helped define the entirety of 2022.[2]

81. Lil Durk f/Morgan Wallen - Broadway Girls

“I’m not racist, I have black friends” in song form.

82. Parmalee - Take My Name

Parmalee’s music is the musical equivalent of a Hallmark card.

83. Lil Durk f/Gunna - What Happened To Virgil

“Broadway Girls” being bigger than this should be an indictment on how awful America’s taste in music is.

84. Future - Puffin’ On Zootiez

The album this came from is literally called “I Never Liked You”, mirrors my thoughts on Future almost perfectly, save for like “Wait For U” or something.

85. Kane Brown - Like I Love Country Music

There is country music I love, but I have never met anyone who loves this song, and rightfully so, because this is one of the most obnoxious songs on this year-end list.

86. Bobby Helms - Jingle Bell Rock

We’ve reached the point where around Christmas time, Christmas music is big enough to make the top 100 biggest songs of the year every year. I don’t think there’s a single soul on Earth that would argue that this helped define the entirety of 2022.[3]

87. Bad Bunny & Bomba Estéreo - Ojitos Lindos

A good song with a nice production, but the lyrics could’ve been written by me if I knew Spanish.

88. Jason Aldean - Trouble With A Heartbreak

This year forced me to acknowledge that I like a Jason Aldean song, fuck this year, man.

89. Burl Ives - A Holly Jolly Christmas

We’ve reached the point where around Christmas time, Christmas music is big enough to make the top 100 biggest songs of the year every year. I don’t think there’s a single soul on Earth that would argue that this helped define the entirety of 2022.[4]

90. Doja Cat f/SZA - Kiss Me More

If anything, I think this song exposes that SZA should’ve been on the “Say So” remix, not Nicki Minaj.

91. Russell Dickerson f/Jake Scott - She Likes It

This is so clunky and shouldn’t even qualify as a country song.

92. Cole Swindell f/Lainey Wilson - Never Say Never

Again, when was Cole Swindell allowed to be good?

93. Scotty McCreery - Damn Strait

This is just “What’s Your Country Song” by Thomas Rhett but instead of having all country music to pool references from, Scotty McCreery restricts himself to George Strait songs.

94. Tate McRae - she’s all i wanna be

Tate may be able to sell this song’s vulnerability, but her voice is really weak here. Olivia Rodrigo is able to sell vulnerability while having a strong voice. Maybe that’s all who Tate wants to be so bad.

95. Jon Pardi - Last Night Lonely

With a voice this nasal, I highly doubt that this is your last night lonely.

96. ERNEST f/Morgan Wallen - Flower Shops

A really nice song that unfortunately has the displeasure of being attached to a controversy where at the Grand Ole Opry, they didn’t let ERNEST perform without Racist country man.

97. JNR Choi f/Sam Tompkins - To The Moon

I actually think this song is pretty good but I don’t think I have so little dignity as to listen to a song with a fucking Elon Musk tweet as the cover art.

98. Sam Smith & Kim Petras - Unholy

I think I appreciate the existence of this song more than actually like the song itself.

99. Kane Brown - One Mississippi

Infinitely more fun than “Like I Love Country Music” but of course that song was the bigger hit this year.

100. Maren Morris - Circles Around This Town

A song literally about how Maren drove all around her hometown to try and write this song and couldn’t think of anything and thus this song is actually now about her experience trying to write this.

And we did it! Thanks for a great 2 years of blogging, and I hope you enjoyed this special article! I’m not sure if I’m gonna do this ever again, but we’ll see what y’all thought of this haha. That said, this will be my last article until 2023 list season (well, unless someone on Pulse actually opens the 2022 Non-US hits rankdown so I can do a non-US hits article). I need a break, sorry! Until then, you’ve been reading Fire’s Flaming Hot Takes, and I’ll see you around!!