The Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2006

 The Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2006

In the following article, I take a look at one of the weaker years of the 2000s for the Hot 100 and take a look at some of the songs that make it one of the weaker years

Hey guys, welcome back to Fire’s Flaming Hot Takes for another year-end list. Today, we’re examining the top 10 worst hit songs of 2006!

So, 2006, I honestly don’t know the general consensus on this year at all, I assume that people think it’s not very good, and, my thoughts? Yeah, this year is honestly fine, nothing too special, but I don’t think it’s awful, still one of the weaker years for the 2000s though. But I’ll say, this year wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be going into it, the lows this year were nowhere near as bad as those of the previous year, but that isn’t exactly hard to do haha. That said, the music this year was kinda a mixed bag for all genres, crunk was beginning to hit overexposure and had kinda a bad year here, but honestly I don’t have very much to say about the music scene here but I will say there are some Flaming Hot Takes from me on both the worst and best lists, even more than usual I’d say, but I never considered myself to have good music taste at all so as always I’m prepared for tons of disagreements. So it’s time to get started on the list! There were 32 songs on the Hot 100 year-end list for 2006 that I found mediocre or worse, including repeats from 2005 - and as a reminder of the rule, the songs had to debut on the year-end Hot 100 list for 2006 in order to qualify, so “You And Me” by Lifehouse and “My Humps” by the Black Eyed Peas are ineligible for this list. So let’s get this shit started as always with our dishonorable mentions!

DM #1: Evanescence - Call Me When You’re Sober (YE: #77, PEAK: #10)

Coming as someone who unironically likes “Bring Me To Life”, I think this is bad, and while in that song, Amy Lee’s vocals were cathartic and the production backed her up nicely, this doesn’t feel like such, Amy Lee’s vocals just feel stranded out in the mix and somehow, the production can’t back her up, and I honestly can’t put my finger on why. Yeah, I’m not all that sure on why I dislike this song, but all I know is that I do.

DM #2: Nickelback - Far Away (YE: #49, PEAK: #19)

So, it’s not a secret that this blog isn’t very popular, as far as I know, there are only 2 people that actively view these posts, one of them actually predicted that “Photograph” would make my worst list for 2005, and look, I don’t like that song, but it’s completely fine, it’s far from Nickelback’s worst hit from the 2000s. This song, on the other hand, is an absolute slog, and what’s even left for me to say about Nickelback at this point? Just the same old song, same old ugly vocals courtesy of Chad Kroeger, just the same old shit that we’ve already gotten from these guys. Yeah, I’m not gonna waste my time trying to analyze this song, NEXT!!

DM #3: Nickelback - Savin’ Me (YE: #85, PEAK: #23)

Somehow, Chad Kroeger’s vocals sound even uglier here, and that’s just about the only reason there is that this song is distinguishable from the rest of the Nickelback’s painfully generic material. It’s not the worst thing I’ve heard from these guys, and we won’t have to wait that long to find out what that is...that’s all I’m giving away, but this is still bad, I mean throw it on the ever growing pile of bad Nickelback hits - and that pile is getting to be pretty huge, all I’m saying. NEXT!

DM #4: Young Dro f/TI - Shoulder Lean (YE: #59, PEAK: #10)

Basically what I call evidence that crunk started getting overexposed, from the amateurish rapping to the annoying repetition of “shoulder lean” ad-nauseam and with the production feeling as sparse(?, I really don’t know how to describe this to be honest) as it is somehow, that’s all I can focus on, this is bad, NEXT!

DM #5: Dem Franchize Boyz - I Think They Like Me (YE: #85, PEAK: #15)

If my suspicions based on this song’s quality are correct, they do NOT like you at all. From the once again amateurish rapping to the awful editing - seriously, the repetition of “oh I think they like me” sounds like the take was just pasted over and over again and it wouldn’t even be that big of an issue if it wasn’t the literal hook of the song! And then the kick sound which sounds like someone forgot to properly EQ it, in other words, there’s a reason this song has been forgotten.

DM #6: Chris Brown f/Lil Wayne - Gimme That (YE: #69, PEAK: #15)

This may not be as bad as “Run It!” from the previous year, but this is still grating, from Chris Brown’s vocals not being very good to that grating synth progression, its apex is just shrill as fuck. And I’m not even bringing the Rihanna incident into this - this being 3 years prior to it - but I don’t even need to! As someone who’s put Chris Brown on my best list twice already - with “Yeah x3” in 2011 and “International Love” in 2012 - this is bad and deserves a slot on my worst list without a shred of doubt. Fuck this song.

DM #7: Fergie - London Bridge (YE: #22, PEAK: #1)

This is just a trainwreck of a song only barely saved from the list proper by being a bit of a funny trainwreck at least. But seriously from Fergie’s sing-rapping and her fake English accent (I think that’s what she’s doing?) being disastrously awful. Then there’s the honking bicycle horn after every line that gets annoying in record time. I unironically like Gwen’s “Hollaback Girl” but this song is absolutely terrible and actively makes me ashamed to be listening to this song even while writing this entry.

So all those sucked, but now for the garbage proper...

10...So we’re starting this list off with an artist you’ve likely never heard, let’s go, I guess....

10. Danity Kane f/Yung Joc - Show Stopper (YE: #79, PEAK: #8)

I guess I’ll give some credit where it’s due for Danity Kane having personality here but holy fuck, once you get past that, this song is just an utter mess. From the annoying way the girls in Danity Kane deliver the last word of each line, half-cooing and the other half, rapping, I don’t even know how to describe that. And then there’s Yung Joc, who sounds so out of place here that I’m convinced that he was supposed to be on another song that was recorded on a different planet from a different galaxy. Basically, the only time this song is a show stopper is when the audience boos Danity Kane out of the building, there’s a reason no one remembers this. NEXT!!

9...The “Milkshake” singer got another hit in 2006, wow, this year was weird...

9. Kelis f/Too $hort - Bossy (YE: #64, PEAK: #16)

Look, “Milkshake” is still mid at best but it’s easily still better than this obnoxious pile of shit, Kelis has no personality here which makes this come off as way more obnoxious than it really should - I'm bossy, I'm the first girl to scream on a track”, is just delivered with so little enthusiasm, I feel like this should’ve been intended for Gwen Stefani instead but Kelis wound up with it instead and then actively is cringing when recording this, also, I’m gonna be bluntly honest, I forgot Too $hort was on this song, he has so little personality or interesting aspects in his verse that he just is...a thing that exists, not to mention the harpsichord sounds like someone who’s never played an electric piano before proceeds to just hit the keys next to each other in desperate hopes that something resembles a melody. Look, I’m not saying Kelis has no talent, I liked her song “Acapella” from 2010, so naturally that wasn’t a hit, but “Bossy” is still a migraine of a song that is evidence A  of why Kelis didn’t have another hit after this.

8...So Fergie already made this list, so here’s another song with a Black Eyed Peas member!…

8. Pussycat Dolls f/will.i.am - Beep (YE: #84, PEAK: #13)

I’ll admit to liking the one Black Eyed Peas song on the 2006 year-end that would’ve been eligible for this list - “Pump It” - but will.i.am’s solo hit this year with the Pussycat Dolls is annoying as fuck and one of the most grating hit songs of 2006. Pretty much all thanks to that beeping sound effect that’s supposed to represent a censoring sound effect but it’s just so jarring and obnoxious this is pretty disappointing because outside of the beeping and the laughing here, this song really isn’t that bad, the Pussycat Dolls are all pretty solid performers here and even if will.i.am isn’t exactly the greatest performer here, he isn’t terrible here, but yeah the beep is a very poorly executed gimmick and makes this song terrible.

7...Kinda embarrassed to say this but I had no clue this guy had a career prior to the 2010s before coming across this song when listening to this year-end list, and then I realized that this song is fucking terrible and I quickly felt better about myself because there was a reason this song was forgotten...

7. Daddy Yankee - Rompe (YE: #74, PEAK: #24)

I’ll say this, this song is immensely catchy and Daddy Yankee has bucket loads of personality here, but that production is really grating mainly because of that “na-na-na-na-na” sample that repeats throughout the entire fucking song. Shame because the horns are lively and as I mentioned, Daddy Yankee has so much personality that I do like here, even despite his admittedly grating voice. Moving on...

6...This next song interpolates “Wait (The Whisper Song)” by the Ying Yang Twins, oh you know, one of the worst hits of 2005...

6. Bubba Sparxxx f/Ying Yang Twins & Mr. Collipark - Ms. New Booty (YE: #36, PEAK: #7)

This is just a joke...Right? Please tell me it’s a joke...not that it being a joke would make it any better, but if I can at least know if this song is intended as a complete joke, I can feel less embarrassed for everyone involved. This does feel a bit too much like a novelty to get angry at and, make no mistake, I’m less angry at this and more completely amused by it, it’s only made the list because it is absolutely shitty quality-wise and there are a few aspects of this that I do hate but let me actually start with some aspects I don’t really hate - I don’t find this part all that bad to be honest: “Booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin' everywhere”, it’s just delivered so outrageously with a lot of personality that I find it hard to not be amused by it - but the aspects I don’t like, on the other hand, I already mentioned that this interpolates “Wait (The Whisper Song)” by The Ying Yang Twins and that song already repulses me as it is - “Sssh let me/whisper in your ear/Get yourself together go and buy some new gear/Do something with/your hair then hit the club/Shakin' ass at the fellas, goin' show some love/But that wasn't in/just a minute ago/I guarantee you will make all the dough/So go and do your thang baby work what you got” it just gives me the creeps probably as much as the original song does quite frankly. And then there’s that siren that unironically sounds like a police car is trying to pull me over and it’s just annoying. Anyway this is trash, but at least I can get a little bit of a laugh out of it unlike my top 5.

5...Time for a flaming hot take, and quite possibly the biggest one I’ve ever had to date...

5. Justin Timberlake f/TI - My Love (YE: #62, PEAK: #1)

Yeah, I’m not gonna make any fans by putting this song on a worst list, let alone this high. But I don’t know what to tell you, I guess I hate Justin Timberlake way more than I previously had realized. I just loathe his wimpy falsetto here, and even his lower register  is repulsive to me, I don’t know why, but it just is. Somehow, TI’s forgettable verse is the best aspect of this! And then there’s the production, with that high pitched, I think, laugh is insufferable and this song is just so empty sounding, maybe not as much as something like “Gone” by *NSYNC, sure but still insufferably very nothing, doesn’t help that I hate the production here too, it’s super staccato and it gives me a headache. Not JT’s worst hit this year though, if that appeases anyone pissed off by this entry.

4...Fuck you JT...

4. Justin Timberlake - SexyBack (YE: #9, PEAK: #1)

I was repulsed by this the very first time I heard it and that still holds true to this day. I mentioned before that JT’s presence just repulses me in most songs of his, and “SexyBack” is quite potentially his worst on presence alone, with all the effects piled onto his voice and the “Go 'head, be gone with it” lyric being repeated ad-nauseum. And then the production, there’s so many effects everywhere that all clash with each other horribly, and can I just say with this and “Blurred Lines” what’s with people thinking cowbells sound sexy? Spoiler alert: they don’t. This song is less sexy and more annoying, I still don’t get the appeal of this, fuck this trash.

3...The first of 2 lazy songs in a row here, and maaaaaaaaaaaaaaan is this lazy!...

3. Yung Joc f/Brandy “Ms. B” Hambrick - I Know You See It (YE: #70, PEAK: #17)

This song just sounds insufferably lazy, from Yung Joc and Brandy “Ms. B” Hambrick having no chemistry with each other and both of them sounding like they’d rather be anywhere else and a lazy and flat sounding synth, to terrible lyrics like “She chewin on the dick like a piece of Bubble Yum”, there’s a reason this song was justly forgotten.

2...Now for quite possibly one of the most infamously shitty #1s of all time...

2. D4L - Laffy Taffy (YE: #46, PEAK: #1)

Yeah, this song is pretty much only remembered for being what it is: complete and utter trash. Even beyond the metaphor which makes no sense, a Laffy Taffy does not in any way equate to what it says on genius.com, but even if you look past that and see this as just a dumb party song, it’s fucking laaaaaazy and reeks of noneffort, from that flat and lazy-sounding synth line that genuinely makes the synth in “I Know You See It” sound good by comparison, to everyone in D4L being shitty rappers...and let me quote something I read on genius.com while writing this entry: “It broke the 2007 Guinness World Record for most downloaded song in the history of music.” I am deeply worried for people’s ears and music taste in 2006 if this was actually the case. Apparently before releasing the song, Fabo of D4L hated it, and all I can say is, if you hated it, why did you have the group release this trash? Yeah, I think I’ve given this way more attention than it truly deserves, trash fire, so what’s worse?

 

1...So, what could be worse than one of the most infamously bad #1 hits of all time? Well, I chose a song that I feel worst represents the post-grunge genre trend this decade...

1. Hinder - Lips Of An Angel (YE: #46, PEAK: #3)

Does this song actually have defenders? No, seriously, I don’t think I’ve seen a single soul genuinely defend this. I’ve said before that I tend to like songs in the music key of D Major, but this is definitely an exception to that. This feels like a pale retread of “One Last Breath” by Creed, which is also utter trash as is, from the musical key to the chords to even the similar non-enunciating vocals both Scott Stapp and Austin Winkler have, and the same sludgy production. But what makes “Lips Of An Angel” worse than “One Last Breath” is both the lyrical content and the sharp tonal dissonance, the content is supposed to get us, the audience, to sympathize with a guy cheating on his girlfriend with his ex. And then the tonal dissonance: the content is deplorable, sure, but then there’s Austin Winkler screaming the lyrics as if he’s being lowered into an active volcano, and yeah, his voice is insufferable, if your girl’s in the next room, LOWER YOUR DAMN VOICE! Fuck this song, “Lips Of An Angel” by Hinder is EASILY the worst hit song of 2006, and possibly the lowest of the low when it comes to 2000s post-grunge.

Well anyway, the Spotify playlist will be below the article and I’ll be working on my best list, but until then, you’ve been reading Fire’s Flaming Hot Takes, and I’ll see you!

Spotify playlist