The Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2004

 

The Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2004

In the following article, I take a look a decent but slightly overrated year if the 2000s and see why I think this year is slightly overrated

Hey guys, welcome back to Fire’s Flaming Hot Takes for another year-end list. Today, we’re examining the top 10 worst hit songs of 2004!

So after looking at the worst year of the 2000s in my last two lists, 2003, we’re looking at a year that has a very good reputation of being one of the best of the 2000s and...

Honestly, after going through this year-end list, I think many people are seeing this year through rose-colored glasses. It's not bad by any means, but I kinda feel it falls towards the middle of the 2000s in terms of quality. Sure, the best of this year has stood the test of time, but the worst...oh boy, they might not be as bad as the worst of the following year but god, there’s a reason these songs were forgotten, all I’m saying. The charts in 2004 were dominated by the crunk explosion pretty much and mainstream pop was basically absent in 2004 and maybe with just very few exceptions, country music didn’t really have that good of a year. There were 16 songs here that were mediocre or worse, including the 2003 repeats. As a rule, the songs had to debut on the year-end Hot 100 in 2004 in order to qualify, so no,”Holidae Inn” by Chingy and “Baby Boy” by Beyonce already missed their shots to make my worst list in 2003, so let’s get things started as always with our dishonorable mentions!

DM #1: Kelis - Milkshake (YE: #41, PEAK: #3)

It’s kinda disturbing how much this song has persisted in culture today. But I get it, the chorus is pretty catchy but I’m sorry, this is just mid at best. It feels like a complete mess with Kelis flip flopping between having a weirdly forceful delivery and cooing and ultimately neither ends up being sexy because in the instances where she is cooing, she isn’t singing on key! And the forceful delivery just doesn’t sound sexy! That’s before we get to the production which is a percussion heavy beat with synths and no discernible melody and it just sounds really irritating. I can’t really justify putting this higher because this is just a novelty song in the end but it’s still mediocre.

DM #2: Sean Paul f/Sasha, Jeremy Harding, & Murray Elias - I’m Still In Love With You (YE: #60, PEAK: #14)

Another not bad  but definitely mediocre song. I've never been that huge on Sean Paul’s voice but the horns (I think that’s what I’m hearing?) sound pretty irritating and don’t match the content here, which is about an unfulfilled relationship where Sasha is still in love with Sean Paul but there’s nothing in the production or anyone’s delivery that implies that, this just bored me to be honest, NEXT!!

DM #3: Cassidy f/R Kelly - Hotel (YE: #32, PEAK: #4)

No, I’d not like to come to your hotel R Kelly, you disgusting sex pest. Doesn’t help that Cassidy isn’t a very impressive rapper. It’s basically a boring slog that gets pretty gross and disturbing if you actually pay attention to it.

DM #4: Nelly f/Jaheim - My Place (YE: #30, PEAK: #4)

That said, this is probably a more boring slog. Even if the twinkling keys sound kinda pretty, Nelly and Jaheim just don’t fit this production at all in my opinion. NEXT!!

DM #5: Nickelback - Someday (YE: #7, PEAK: #17)

Another mediocre Nickelback song, what more should I say, this is just “How You Remind Me” again.  With that generic post-grunge production to Chad Kroeger’s ugly voice, this is just trying to come off as more deep than it actually is, it’s just forgettable boring mush, let’s move on.

DM #6: G-Unit f/Joe - Wanna Get To Know You (YE: #86, PEAK: #15)

Just move on! She’s clearly not for you if the line “I think we make a perfect couple, but you think I'm trouble/Maybe that's the reason you gave me the wrong number” is any indication. The song just comes across as extremely pushy, not helped by the boring R&B production and Joe on the chorus seemingly trying his hardest to come off as more sincere than this actually is, with that restrained delivery and the guys in G-Unit being mid at best rappers, I don’t really have anything else to say about this, this is bad, let’s move on!

DM #7: Nelly f/Tim McGraw - Over And Over (YE: #96, PEAK: #3)

This is not the worst Nelly song that tried to cross over into country by any means given that in 2021,  he’d make “Lil Bit” with Florida-Georgia Line which is considerably worse than this, but this is still bad, Nelly and Tim McGraw both sound heavily disinterested in this song, and I don’t hear any emotion in this song! Also, the production and melody are lifeless and that makes the constant repetition of the title just insufferable for me. In short, this is dreary and I don’t get why I still hear this on my AC station regularly.

Now on that note, let’s get to the list proper!

10...You’d have to rob MrBeast of all his money and give it to me for me to listen to Sam Hunt’s album of the same title, but that doesn’t mean this isn’t bad at all!...

10. Lloyd f/Ashanti - Southside (YE: #84, PEAK: #24)

Let’s get the obvious out of the way, Lloyd and Ashanti have the chemistry of two couch cushions in this song, Ashanti’s talents are put to waste because of Lloyd, his voice sounds extremely nasally and Ashanti just sounds like she only did this as a label favor,  nope, this is a disappointment from Ashanti, bad song, next!

9...And Uncle Kracker once again ruins everything, including my worst list because he didn’t top this!...

9. Kenny Chesney f/Uncle Kracker - When The Sun Goes Down (YE: #89, PEAK: #26)

It’s not like this couldn’t have worked, the production is lightweight and breezy enough, give it to the Zac Brown Band, this wouldn’t have been all that bad but unfortunately, we get stuck with Kenny Chesney’s flat and personality-less singing and Uncle Kracker’s inability to sing. Not only do they have no chemistry, neither of them are trying to elevate this song to being memorable or fun!

8...Man, a lot of boring songs are making this list, huh…

8. Ruben Studdard - Sorry 2004 (YE: #53, PEAK: #9)

Not that this song being boring is the only problem with it by any means, the lyrics are just manipulative shit about this guy making a big swing to win this girl back by saying “sorry” about a million times and with how everything in this song is, from the soft production and Ruben Studdard overselling this song to extreme lengths, it comes off as extremely insincere. And the soft production seems to bring the lyrics to the forefront and good god this is as I mentioned just now, super insincere and cheesy. At least when Justin Bieber made his song “Sorry”, he paired it with a groovy and catchy production, not this sappy soft piano twinkling keys shit, Skip it!

7...How do you nosedive in quality so badly so fast?...

7. Eminem - Just Lose It (YE: #98, PEAK: #6)

Who exactly asked for this? A “comedy” rap song that is painfully unfunny, with wack ass bars like “Come here, little kiddies, on my lap/Guess who's back with a brand new rap?/And I don't mean "rap" as in a new case/Of child molestation” which is just tasteless, and fart jokes like  “Oops, my CD just skipped/And everyone just heard you let one rip” to whatever the fuck Eminem was thinking with the constant “(Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)” bits, this is just an unfunny disaster. I just gotta hope that Eminem moved the hell on from this.

6...This may not be the worst thing the Black Eyed Peas would make this decade, but this song is still pretty terrible!..

6. Black Eyed Peas - Hey Mama (YE: #95, PEAK: #23)

An ass anthem for sure, and maybe the most headache-inducing  ass anthem I’ve heard since Jason Derulo’s “Wiggle”, I can point immediately to will.i.am’s annoying delivery trying to imitate Sean Paul as the reason but we also get the lovely line “And then drop bombs like we in the Middle East”...which just...no. It’s not the worst the Black Eyed Peas could get this decade, but this is still terrible, let's move on.

5...Screw R Kelly..

5. Nick Cannon f/R Kelly - Gigolo (YE: #61, PEAK: #13)

I had no clue what the fuck a gigolo was before this song, and when I looked it up, I was left thoroughly unconvinced that either of these guys are such. Well for starters, “gigolo” just sounds like a fucking stupid word, it sounds like the name of a Dumbo character or some shit, genuinely. The production is very annoying, it’s comprised of entirely of a stuttering guitar line and Nick Cannon just isn’t an interesting rapper and R Kelly’s voice just repulses me. Yeah, this is trash, next!

4...I’ve discussed tonal dissonance in songs on this blog before, but this one just takes it to a whole new level...

4. Eamon - Fuck It (I Don't Want You Back) (YE: #63, PEAK: #16)

This song is genuinely kinda funny because of how much it utterly fails as a song. Let’s start with Eamon himself, he just sounds like a 3 year old who’s pissed at his mommy for grounding him and proceeds to yell every cuss word he knows at her in an attempt to  prove a point somehow, all to the tune of his lullaby music, seriously, based on the lyrics alone, Eamon is pissed at this ex for breaking his heart, and is trying to deliver a lot of anger in his delivery but this production has no intensity, it’s the production that’d be used on a sappy love ballad, and Eamon doesn’t sound more angry than whiny, that higher register with all the restrained delivery just doesn’t work. He sounds so needy and very much like he DOES want her back. There’s a reason this song was forgotten, we don’t want this back either.

3...So in a year with a bunch of crunk music, something intelligently insightful is a breath of fresh air, right? Wrong...

3. Jadakiss f/Anthony Hamilton - Why? (YE: #62, PEAK: #11)

This is a pathetic attempt to be insightful and meaningful rap but it just fails terribly, I mean, what kind of question is “Why are you even alive?” and then we get “Why did Bush knock down the towers?”....I’m not even gonna go into that one. Not to mention, the production is also very bad, with the annoying clanging chime noises being the only audible thing in the instrumentation. You wanna ask “why” questions, I have one right now, why does this exist? It doesn’t even answer any of the questions it poses, it’s like I, the listener, have to answer them for him! Also, side note: I remember seeing one of the Pulse Music Board saying they were related to Jadakiss, in that case...I’m sorry his one hit in the 2000s kinda sucks ass?

2...Okay, we’re going back to Eminem for this one...

2. D12 f/Cameo - My Band (YE: #59, PEAK: #6)

For almost any other artist, “Just Lose It” would be the absolute career lowpoint but 2004 was a really bad year for Eminem where he pumped out some of the worst songs of his career He seemed to try his hardest to go “Hey look guys this song is shit! A’int I a comedic genius!? PLease laugh! I’m begging you” and yeah, let’s get this out of the way: this is not funny or even stupid enough to be so bad it’s good. The joke is that people keep calling D12 a band but Eminem gets all the attention? Haha comedy moment right here. He spends the entire song putting down the other members of this supergroup, it’s no wonder that D12 didn’t really last. Not to mention Eminem’s singing on this sounds atrocious, he’s going out of his way to sound the most obnoxious, in addition to the production sounding just as obnoxious with that lazy sounding synth, plus the “my salsa” bit just sounds racist. Even as someone who hasn’t listened to Encore outside of the singles, if this and “Just Lose It” are any indication I’m probably saving my time and my ears. My dad said that he used to be an Eminem fan and even he said this was beyond atrocious when he heard it. Yeah, this is atrocious and easily the worst thing Eminem has ever released, still not my #1 though, so what could be worse?

 

1...I won't lie, part of me was questioning this pick for a while, but it does raise a thought about the context behind songs or their popularity whether or not said context was the artist’s intent being a factor in one’s evaluation of a song. I don’t think this song would’ve topped this list without that context, that said...

1. Toby Keith - American Soldier (YE: #90, PEAK: #28)

So I know this song isn’t explicitly about the Iraq War but this song was released around the same time as the war started and it thus makes the song really difficult to separate from it. It’s not worse than “Have You Forgotten?” by Darryl Worley - that would be very difficult to do but I still find this atrocious. As just music, it’s a boring ass slog, with the production being very delicate and gentle and never really taking off, plus despite Toby Keith having a powerful enough voice in this song his jingoistic tone he had in his other singles to this like “Courtesy Of The Red, White, & Blue” just makes me unable to buy this song. Yeah, basically, in short, “American Soldier” by Toby Keith is the worst hit song of 2004 and maybe I’m being way too harsh on this song but at least right now, I don’t care. Well anyway, the Spotify playlist will be below the article and I’ll be working on my best list, but until then, you’ve been reading Fire’s Flaming Hot Takes, and I’ll see you!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7Iqx6xTziEtfQP4gSUTgqq?si=07d2cd4411ef4123